How to Improve Your IELTS Essay Writing Task 2?
My students always ask questions such as how to write an essay worth more than 7 Bands, how to structure the essay, what are the band descriptors and how to use the public version of band descriptors to leverage the score in essay, how to brainstorm relevant points and many more. Well, my answer is always the same.
There are certain points which everyone needs to keep in mind while dealing with IELTS Writing Task-2 which are as follows:-
There are four assessment parameters based on which IELTS Essay Writing task-2 is evaluated:
So, let’s understand what exactly these assessment parameters are and what we need to learn from it. Moreover, you don’t even need to go through all the band descriptors in detail if you are able to remember the below mentioned explanation.
Now let’s have a look at one of my essays.
Sending criminals to the prison is not the best method of dealing with them. Education and job training are the better ways to help them. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It consists of 3 parts; opening statement, topic statement and thesis statement.
[OPENING STATEMENT] One of the conspicuous and global issue of contemporary time is the escalating criminal activities. Apparently, there are numerous reasons of such a situation, however the crucial part is that how we respond to it. [TOPIC STATEMENT] Some opine that apprehending perpetrators and sending them behind the bars is the inappropriate procedure of dealing with them and instead proper education and vocational training should be provided. [THESIS STATEMENT] Here, I only partially concur with the given proposition.
[REASONS OF DISAGREEMENT] To incept with the reasons of disagreement, first and foremost reason is if criminals are put in prison, crime ratio can be kept in check and it can be reduced. And initially, it is the best way to deal with them, however later on, they can be sent to court for justice and court can impart punishment or bail as final verdict depends on the severity of crime. This type of rules, regulations and procedures will ensure that people will follow the laws strictly. Moreover, imparting appropriate punishment according to the crime is mandatory as it will set an example for others. To cite an example, before a while, a prominent terrorist of Pakistan Osama-Bin-Laden did a bomb blast in USA. Government of USA got riled up and they did a surgical strike in Pakistan and eliminated the whole terrorist group of Laden. Thus, after this operation no dangerous criminal has emerged. This type of stringent behaviour towards criminals will ensure safety of bystanders and everyone can live fearless and peaceful life.
[REASONS OF AGREEMENT] Furthermore, strict behaviour and punishment are imperative, although teaching criminals a lesson, spreading awareness and educating them is also necessary. For this, many countries such as USA, Canada, Australia and many more are running rehabilitation programs in which felons are provided psychological help so that they can improve their mental state. Apart from this, vocational training is also given, thus, they just do not sit ideally in the jail and they can do something meaningful with their lives. For example, in Ahmedabad city’s Sabarmati jail, criminals are running one fast food business. In this way, they are able to make amends of their bad deeds and also, they are contributing to their families and nation. Moreover, this type of behaviour towards criminals will improve civic sense in them and they might be able to become good citizens of the society.
[PERSONAL OPINION] In my opinion, showing lenient behaviour directly toward criminals is totally inappropriate as it will make them fearless and they might continue to do evil activities in the future also. Nevertheless, after teaching them a proper lesson and making them aware of their mistakes, a chance should be given to them so that they can make amends and this is necessary for humanity’s sake as after all criminals are also human beings.
To recapitulate, punishment is inevitable in case of crime, however, action should be taken in accordance to the severity of crime, because, not all the criminals are driven by the selfish desires and sadistic mentalities, some commit crime due to some personal reasons such as insecurity, compulsion or pressure from others.